Letter to yourself; Get your act together.

Dear Rebecca,

All your life you have never put in 100% of effort into anything you do, not even 99%.
In grades 8, 9 and 10 you put in about 10% or sometimes even less in all your school work, and in year 11, about 15% of effort. It is now year 12, term 3, the most IMPORTANT and crucial time in your high school life. You are now single, and have no other distractions but yourself now. You have managed to work at a 20% all year now, but that is just not good enough.

Your parents have invested PILES of time and savings into your education and you have just been too lazy. Too close minded, too unbothered, too distracted. Procrastination is not an option to a better future. Your OP prediction... Your report card....
You know how much potential you have. You know that if you studied even just a bit harder, asked some more questions, stop giving up on all the challenges; you would be so much further than where you are now.

You can no longer focus on what was the past, it is NOW, NOW. NOW is the time. Or it's never going to be the time.

You can get a 5. You can prove everyone and most importantly to yourself. Your strength lies in compassion but your weakness to procrastination, laziness, boredom, distractions.

This term will be your best yet. NOBODY IS STOPPING YOU. STOP BEING AFRAID.
I love you,

Rebecca.

Progress on mission 1; majority failed

I am stuck.
I have read five pages of the boring economics pdf file. I am afraid to face the challenge ahead of me and what looks like the introduction of next terms work.
FUCK BEING SUCH A PUSSY ALL THE TIME. Yes, I even swore online.
I am
NO
LONGER
GOING
TO
STAND
MYSELF
BEING
THIS
PATHETIC.
It is time to change.
Re-establishing my mission no.1, I will enlighten you on the progress soon.

Target and mission number 1: Destroying procrastination

Procrastination has taken up so much of my life. It's time to show 'it' who's boss. Although this is a form of procrastination - I really think it's time to focus my life on my highest priorities right now, it goes in the order of family (always first), school, self growth, friends. I don't think I have ever felt this way, the order of my most important values. I mean, usually it'd be friends and love to be the first priority, but after the last few weeks, I feel closer to the goal of being a better me, more than ever.

It's time to delete my "ask.fm" and start my growth externally instead of on the web where I get pathetic anonymous questions to feel better about myself, and occupy my boredom. I should actively face this boredom by starting to put that energy elsewhere - like into my work, my music, my fitness.

Here's to the start of a new journey - cheers to the better me!